I am a Nationally Certified Sex Addiction Recovery Coach.
I work with men and couples buried under the crushing shame and devastating effects of Sex Addiction. I am a specialist in Sex Addiction because it is not like any other addiction and requires extensive training and specialized education to become an effective SA recovery coach. I have committed to work exclusively with Sex Addicts.
Murray Carlson, SRC, NCLC, CFRC
In some situations, Sex Addiction can quickly progress from a nuisance activity (a little porn, occasional masturbation) to a life-threatening, all-consuming lifestyle that drives many addicts to ruin. This addiction can quickly consume your time and energy, destroy intimacy with anyone you are in a relationship with, your family, finances, job and your sanity. Some addicts report the onset of suicidal ideation near the bottom they hit. Most addicts quickly immerse themselves in the addiction by creating a system of rituals that enable the addiction to thrive and grow. The severely addicted Sex Addict can sometimes develop such delusional thinking that the chase of a fantasy of the perfect orgasm, intoxication by lust and the thrill of a new infatuation and obsession becomes all they think about. This type of progressive addiction can drive the addict to spend every waking moment either completely distracted and unable to perform the most basic life skills or forsaking all responsibility in pursuit of the next high.
Sex Addiction negatively impacts a person physically, emotionally, spiritually, psychologically and worst of all relationally. If there is a spouse or committed relationship the partner often feels worse and has longer lasting negative effects than the recovering addict. No other addiction can create the crushing shame felt by the addict when the behavior is discovered or disclosed. The levels of remorse and self-loathing can be life-threatening.
But there is hope…
I have helped hundreds of Sex Addicts develop and maintain real recovery. My program is simple but proven to be extremely effective to Sex Addicts of all types. Treatment centers and therapists will help you understand the “WHY” behind the addiction. 12 Step groups will create a supportive community so you won’t ever feel alone again. Although important, these programs fail to deliver the three things that will positively impact the addict on a very deep personal level and enable a full lifestyle change. (see below)
My program consists of three basic but powerful concepts:
- Accountability. We will talk every day. During the first 90 days of abstinence, we will talk twice a day. Once in the morning and once in the evening. You will learn what triggers your addiction, survival skills when they occur and how to do the next right thing.
- New Habits. Each day we will create a strategy for living that supports your recovery and new lifestyle. Recovery has to become an integrated part of your life in everything you do, think and feel. We will chart out your day and develop tools and techniques that enable sobriety, recovery, and growth that will make you a better person. You are NOT a bad person becoming good. You ARE a sick person getting well.
- Consequences. If you slip and fall we discuss it openly and honestly, but you will suffer a consequence that we create together. It might be as small as an hour at the gym or as large as a confession to your partner. Consequences are designed to promote positive behavior, not punish and shame you. You will be amazed at how much change will occur when your mind starts to develop new neural pathways toward healthy living.
As you can see my program is simple, well defined and very effective when applied properly.